Following a divorce, you may want to cut off communication with your former partner. Unfortunately, when you have children, you cannot sever ties completely with the other person. While some parents choose to co-parent, co-parenting does not work for all families.
Instead, you may want to consider parallel parenting. Parallel parenting is a form of joint custody where you limit communication while both parents independently care for the children.
Communication with your ex turns into fighting
Many married couples split because of the fighting between themselves and their significant others. If you cannot hold an amicable conversation with your former partner, co-parenting will only cause worse fighting between you. In parallel parenting, you only communicate when necessary. Generally, parallel parents communicate via email, text message or through a parenting app. Text communication allows for more thoughtful and professional communication.
The best interests of your children matter to both parties
Just because you cannot get along with your partner does not mean you do not care about the kids. Kids raised by both parents tend to have fewer behavioral problems and adapt better to life after the divorce. However, if you have a combative relationship, co-parenting could trigger more fighting between you and your former spouse. Fighting affects your children and can cause them to blame themselves or believe they must pick sides.
When creating a parallel parenting plan, you must have a detailed one. Since you do not plan to communicate often or in person, you need details of all the specifics.