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What is nesting and is it right for our kids?

On Behalf of | Jul 24, 2020 | Divorce

In the majority of cases, divorces end with a co-parenting arrangement. This means that both parents are actively involved in raising the children. Generally, this arrangement is most beneficial for kids because having both parents involved in their lives is positive, even if the parents are not married.

However, moving the kids between two primary residences can be difficult. This is why more and more divorced families are opting for a nesting arrangement. According to Psychology Today, “nesting” is when the kids stay in one residence and the parents rotate in and out based on the legal custody arrangement.

Why should we consider this?

Nesting is a great way to ensure that your kids’ lives are not overly disrupted by a divorce. With a nesting arrangement, the kids are not moving and they can stay in the same school district with the same friends. The only difference is that the parents rotate in and out of the house.

A nesting arrangement also means there is no chance that the child will forget precious toys or important medications at one residence when the child moves to the other. In some cases it may be the only way to keep children in a specific neighborhood, particularly if the neighborhood is high cost of living and the parents will not be able to maintain households in that neighborhood independently.

What are some drawbacks?

Nesting requires extremely good communication between both parents, even more so than in a traditional co-parenting arrangement. If you and your ex-spouse can not be in the same room together, it is unlikely that you will be able to sustain a nesting arrangement.


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